Top Ten Alternative uses for Vegemite

So PL loves Vegemite.

You know, that quintessential component of “How Australian are You?” quiz? Which is similar to Marmite, and Bovril. The black, gooey, too-salty-to-be-possible substance that Australians spread on their toast?

We saw a vegemite and cheese sausage at the butchers and I pointed it out to my wife.

The Butcher noticed and commented, “that’s the funny thing about Vegemite – you either love it or hate it.”

“She loves it!” I told the butcher as I pointed at PL.

So he gave us one of the sausage to try.

I don’t mind Vegemite actually. I’ll eat it, no problems. With toast or English Muffins. The difference between PL and me is that she’ll slather it on. I dab it on.

So for those of you who do not like Vegemite, here are the Top Ten Alternative Uses of Vegemite I discovered while camper-vanning in Western Australia.

10 You can use it as shoe polish.

9  In a pinch, you can use it to patch a flat tyre.

8  Also works well to glue the sole of your shoe back on.

7  Great as a fire starter for the barbie.

6  Can be used to fixed small potholes.

5  No sunscreen or sunblock? Use Vegemite! In lab tests, Vegemite was found to provide the equivalent protection of an SPF 300 sunscreen.

4  Has been used as a shark repellent. (This use is still under testing. Vegemite does not recommend you rely on its product to repel sharks.)

3  Surfers have used Vegemite to wax their boards when they’ve run out of surfboard wax.

2  Vegemite can also be used as motor lubricant.

And… the number 1 alternative use of Vegemite

AFTERSHAVE!

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