Gero-autism

Okay, not meaning to make fun of autism or autistics.

PL & I just use “autistic” to mean “a need for routine” or “for things to be done in a specific manner or sequence”.

PL and I have routines. Almost fixed routines. Like every Sunday we watch a movie. Usually at KLP. Every Friday we eat at Men-ichi because we like the pickles there. We order almost the same item. On Sundays, we either eat Ayam Penyet Ria, or Chye Tow Kway at Bedok. We have our favourite restaurants and we don’t deviate much from them.

We teased each other for being “autistic”, for being set in our ways.

Well, I think there is also a “late onset autism” that strike older people.

Once past the age of 40, you start to get set in your ways. Your have a set way of making your coffee, of doing the laundry, or even spending the weekend. I call this “gero-autism”. Autism that comes with advanced age. Like past 40. 🙂

We recognise these “autistic” tendencies, and call each other on it. And laugh about it. And also try to pander to it as well. 🙂

And because we recognise these “autistic” tendencies, we realise and understand that it is an irrational habit, but also a preference, and if it’s not too much trouble, we can go along with it (and make the each other happy), but if it is just silly and making our lives difficult we break it. Because we are not really autistic.

But it is important to catch these “autistic” expectations, or you might yell at the other for doing something different from what you are used to.

Routines can be fun and reassuring too. So we like to have them. But we also know when to break away.

Which is one of the reasons why I had given up finding someone to spend my life with. Past a certain age, you get set in your ways, and it is difficult to change to be with someone, and it is unreasonable to expect someone else to change to match your idiosyncrasies. Maybe she didn’t expect it either.

Which is why it is a miracle we got together.

Or not really. I think we both worry… okay I worry that I’m getting set in my ways and becoming a stick in the mud. So it is good to have someone new toss up my routine, and make new routines with me.

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